It’s been a little while since I’ve made my last confession here on Before The Cross. I don’t intend on doing something like this just for the sake of a confession or anything like that, but to share with you what’s going on in my life personally and hope you find encouragement in the fact that none of us will ever “get it all together” perfectly. We all still fall short of the glory of God and need Jesus just the same.
The other day my wife and I were talking and I was sharing the struggles of trying to invest and disciple someone specifically. We had a great talk about it and she started asking me some questions in regards to what I have done already in the relationship with that person. I had quick answers for her each and every time on what I’ve already done and how that person doesn’t care because they aren’t responding.
It seems like in such a short amount of time, I threw out many things that I already did to my wife…in my self defense. Things like:
- Yes, yes…I’ve already been praying…I know, I know.
- I’ve tried to call over and over again and the phone just doesn’t work for them.
- Sure, I’ve tried to actually spend time with them, but nothing ever really happens.
- It takes two people to build the relationship, so they need to come back towards me to make it happen.
- I can’t change them so God will just have to change them and I’ll wait and see what happens.
Here’s the beauty of my wife and how her response to me left me with no comeback whatsoever (which you can imagine..made me feel GREAT about myself).
The response kind of went like this – “So…Mike…you’ve done all those things already….what if you keep trying and just make more phone calls, show up more often, and just be present and invest in their life?” To which I responded angrily, “because it doesn’t do anything!” She basically said…and? So? Your point?
This rocked me. It was one of those moments that I was about to repeat everything all my excuses over again, but I had nothing to say. I was silent. I almost laughed on the inside of how ridiculous I sounded, but was more convicted at what I had been doing.
Instead of actually loving and investing in someone, I marked them off my list with my Christian things that I have done.
Now don’t get me wrong, praying, calling, texting, showing up, working on both parties loving each other in a relationship, and God changing hearts are all great things. I would encourage anyone to start doing things like that to build a relationship, but they can’t be everything. They can’t become a list of “things” that you just do to “love” someone. That is not investing in someone…that is not real love.
That’s my sinful confession. Somewhere along the line I stopped investing and loving the person, and they became a project for me to throw Christian things at…and then blame them for not responding in a Godly way. Pretty terrible!
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” – Philippians 2:3
I was considering myself more significant than that person VS what the Bible actually teaches. Instead of being humble, I was being prideful. Instead of serving the Lord, I was serving myself and chalking up my “Christian list.”
Afterwards, through prayer and talking with my wife, God…from His rich mercy and grace, guided me back before the cross to remember what Jesus did for me and how I can invest and love others with a huge amount of quality instead of quantity. I’ve already started to invest in this person again and it’s been great.
“But God shows His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8
We were still sinners when Christ died for us and we are still sinners today and need Jesus just the same. Every, single, day. I hope you are encouraged that if you haven’t truly been investing in others and loving them, start today. Even if you have been falling short, confess that to God and choose to live differently by the power of the Holy Spirit.
We are called to make disciples…so what else are we really going to do with our lives anyway? We best make disciples as we invest in others. Jesus has invested in us, and if God Himself invests in us, we can surely invest in others.
What a great read Mike, I wish you was closer to the UK sounds like you really are persistent in others to see them benefit from living in the Lord, I posted on living together before marriage and am going to take your advice and try to get my wife back in my life, the pastor at my church has done something very similar with me, but sadly he has not returned causing me to now want to leave the church and my good friend carol and find somewhere else. He told her that ‘a person wouldn’t know where to… Read more »
Thanks Chris so much, very encouraging to hear you wanting to get back with your wife! I’m sorry to hear about the situation with your pastor. I would hope that it wouldn’t kill your motivation to be part of the Church and maybe even find a new Church. We’ll never be good enough, which is why we need Jesus in the first place. If you trust in Him and follow Him…you can rest assured that He will give you the strength each and every day. The best thing I could tell you to do is pray, read the Bible, and… Read more »
Thanks Mike, I’ve been studying my bible tonight and god has shown me that living in sin is death, obeying the Lord is life. I really need to get back to following the Lord, when I was blessed for a whole week I was strong and peaceful.
I am very aware of the parable about the seeds and need to root myself firmly in following the Lord. Is it possible that someone could home a demon inside them? The bible talks alot about driving out demons, I sometimes wonder if I have a demon living inside of me.
That’s awesome Chris…love how you said obeying the Lord is life.
I know that if you follow Christ, then you have the Holy Spirit and with the Holy Spirit inside of you…you have the power through God to overcome anything, including demons.
You can be sure with that because the Holy Spirit produces self control and nothing can force you to do anything.
Thanks Mike, it’s been great sharing on here, im feeling happier spiritually already. I will definitely find a new church that is charismatic and spirit filled. It’s so rewarding worshiping the Lord on a Sunday, I always say I wish it was Sunday everyday. There is a community church local to me so will attend and make some new friends, it is really important to fellowship mid week too, maybe I should try and organise something round the flat with other Christians rather than feeling lonely and on my own. Oh wow praise the Lord :-)
That’s awesome Chris! Great idea!!