This past week has been pretty challenging to say the least. It started off with me going to the ER for dizziness in my head and my heart racing. What felt like a heart attack didn’t end up being a heart attack and the progress to investigate what’s going on in my head continues to play out. There are still no answers while dizziness remains every day since this all happened. Through seeing multiple doctors, having multiple tests done, and still not getting answers…it’s caused me to wrestle in my walk with The Lord. To wrestle with the unknown.
It seems like things are going every 5 minutes and I’m choosing off and on to trust in God’s plan and provision for my life. In one moment I know I’m content in whatever it is He has planned for me and in another moment I’m worried, scared, anxious, and questioning.
When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul. – Psalm 94:19
And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. – Philippians 1:6
I’ve been reminded over and over again this week when I am weak, He is strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10). In a strange way, when we are at our most desperate stages in life, it’s in those moments and those responses that determine what is most important to us. I’ve battled this week. Thoughts of family, friends, heaven, regrets, reminders, remembering what’s most important vs what doesn’t really matter, etc.
At the same time I feel I’ve never been closer in my walk with The Lord. Not because I’m “doing all these great things” but because I’ve become desperate enough to just want Him and Him alone. He’s all I need and in my darkest hours this week I know He’s been right there with me…every second…through His Word, through His Church, through His Peace.
Why would you be afraid when in Christ you have been completely accepted, eternally forgiven, and richly supplied? – Paul Tripp
Let me encourage you today that no matter what situation you’re wresting with, Jesus is enough. He really is. I know you may doubt it (and that’s ok) and I know you may struggle (and that’s ok), I’m right there with you, but we have a God who cares for us. We have a God who never gives up on us. We have a God who has completely accepted, eternally forgiven, and richly supplied everything we need…all through Christ.
While it’s ok to not be okay, it’s not okay to stay there.
We still don’t have answers for me and that’s okay. Maybe you’re searching for answers yourself and you don’t have them yet, that’s okay too. Focus on your daily time with The Lord and trust Him in the process.
Be still when it’s time to be still, and stand up and walk forward when it’s time to be courageous and confident in Him. Keep going, take things one day at a time, even one step at a time if needed, all the while, trusting He is in control and He is at work. He has a plan for you and for all of us and nothing will ever separate you from the love of Christ.
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
