For nearly all of my life I could technically say I was a Christian. I was brought up to know and believe that Jesus Christ was my Lord and Savior, and He was someone who died for my sins. Throughout my teenage years and young adult life I read the Bible and sought God. During those times, I would have told you that I was a Christian, but I did not know God.
To me, God was some force somewhere out in the universe that I would pray to out of ritual and obligation. Pray to keep my family safe, pray for the things I wanted, and pray the Lord’s Prayer. After all, I felt these things were required of me, these were the things taught in the Bible right? I would openly sin, and felt as long as I asked for forgiveness from God through Jesus Christ, then it was okay and I would go to heaven. Not understanding the concept of true repentance.
I cannot recall the exact date and time, but it was in my early twenties that I somehow noticed there was a voice talking to me in my head. When I was down, I would hear a voice giving me peace. When I was confused, there was a voice giving me clarity. When I was lost, there was a voice giving me direction.