It’s hard to imagine that is has already been two years since the day of rose pedals, candles, scripture, surprises, etc. I can easily recall the amount of time I was putting into this day and how specific everything needed to be as a constant rush of emotions kept happening all day long leading up to the question. We’ve been married for a little more than a year and a half now, and looking back, do I still put the same amount of time and focus into loving and leading my wife well?
The same night included scripture that I read over her with intentionality to different things I would claim that our marriage would be about.
“When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, “Do you understand what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.” – John 13:12-15
The example I wanted to explain was one of servanthood. Being that Jesus serves us, we should definitely serve others, including our spouses. I claimed to serve my wife including washing her feet that night and daily with the Word within our marriage for the rest of our lives. How do I match up with this? Over time, it has been my wife who loves and serves me. The countless mistakes I’ve made and selfish motives I’ve had, have been countered with patience and grace from her. Christ has been washing me clean through the sanctification of our marriage and it has in fact been her, that has been washing me.
“For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” – 1 Corinthians 11:23-26
I claimed that we would constantly need to be reminded of what Jesus had done for us on the cross, especially when it comes to our marriage. An awesome thing that I’ve seen since we’ve been married is the ability to come under authority at anytime and see what the Bible says about what we are dealing with, then adjust. Taking everything back to the Cross. My wife is amazing at being able to see what Scripture says on subjects, then on top of that, be willing to do what is right (according to Scripture). That encourages me (and really would any Godly husband) to be spurred on to lead her even more.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
I claimed I would work on representing love well according to this definition and oh man, do I still have work to do on this! At the end of the day I can see if I match up according to what the Bible says love is, and repent where necessary. This has only proven over time the need for Jesus and the Holy Spirit to lead me in all things, including our marriage and reminds me more and more that God has equipped my wife for such patience and grace to be extended to me. Praise Him for His provision and my wife (still love saying “my wife”) being awesome with this!
“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” – Colossians 3:12-17
Lastly, that at the end of the day, we can lay everything at the foot of the Cross, and that everything we do, we can do that in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. This is a daily denial of self, and seeking out the Lord to see how He wants to use us daily. This also takes time for us to spend with the Lord together and individually making sure we are getting consistent time with the Lord to deepen that relationship.
I think it would be a good thing…no, a great thing for husbands to reflect on their marriage. Think back to when everything was just beginning. Do you still pursue your wife? Do you still take the time and energy needed to pour into your wife and do things for her that you would have done in the past? Sure, things are different now, but how are you doing at loving and leading your wife? I can say for me, I fall short of this every day. The beauty of this is that I know I need Jesus and with two sinful people, in the same house married together, we need Jesus. And if we have as much grace as we do because of what Jesus did on the cross for us, how much more so can we give grace to our spouse?
My wife is an excellent example of a grace giver to her husband. I love how much has happened over the past two years and I praise the Lord for everything He has done within our marriage, and I can’t wait to see what the future will hold for us! Husbands, take this as an opportunity to reflect over your marriage, kiss your wife and tell her you love her, and then work hard at your marriage while loving and serving your wife as the Lord calls you to do so as you lead your family.